Normies Setting Boundaries

I honestly really enjoy the response I get from these posts. You're all so magnificent!!!❤️ after my last, I got a plethora of heartbreaking news from addicts and normies alike... 

A man losing his family over lying about gambling/money. A woman who works in a field that can have absolutely 0 narcotics around, but her long time love relapsed and is using meth😭. Several men addicted to porn. Several woman fed up with their husbands addicted to porn! In fact... Lots of fed up spouses just in general! And I only had ONE alcoholic this time (I see you, you beautiful sober soul😉). 

ALLLL these people, are people you'd NEVER suspect have issues, I can attest to that. They are your neighbors, teachers, pastors, co-workers, sons, and daughters. 

A recurring theme I've noticed that I must post about...

NORMIES!!! Y'ALL NEED TO WORK ON SOME BOUNDARIES AND ASSERTIVENESS! ahem, sorry... I didn't mean to yell or use aggressive caps just then. I apologize, I love you, shut up, listen. 

A wise man once said: "tearing down walls to cultivate boundaries is a quick way to an abundant life." (🤫shhh... it was me... I said that😬) 

Denial and fear is what builds walls. If your spouse is running off to the closet to drink and you say to yourself "well... Hopefully tomorrow they will get it together." Or "at least they aren't plastered drunk, it should be fine." You're not actually saying anything because you're AFRAID. And you minimize the situation because you're in DENIAL. 

This is YOUR LIFE normie! I know you love them! But you need them to be sober to participate! Them running off to watch porn, spending all your money, or showing up drunk or high ANYWHERE is not in your best interest! ...or YOUR KIDS best interest!

"Listen, I know you're drinking in the closet, let's talk about it, because you have to stop if you want our relationship to continue." Then, after you say this, and I know it's profound and absurd but DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO. One of the biggest signs you're enabling is if you're not following through with what you say you're going to do.

How do you know if you're being assertive enough? Easy, it should be slightly uncomfortable and just a click past awkward. This is usually the case when being assertive with people in your life. It's uncomfortable saying with conviction what YOU need. But it benefits everyone in the end. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results you get from being assertive with a loved one that's an addict!

Authored December 20th 2019