Dealing With Guilt and Shame as an Addict.

Being a professional alcoholic, I can tell you that one of the door prizes for the affliction is years of guilt and shame. 

Oftentimes one must deal with uncomfortable feelings that manifest from an embarrassing memory. Unfortunately for an addict/alcoholic, this is a daily occurrence. On good days, when we escape our own minds persecution, the blissful ignorance is cut short by someone ELSE picking up where our memories and imagination left off. It is a daily struggle to remain positive and appear unaffected. 

Since I got sober, I have made it a point to have a candid, automatic response to the question "how are you doing?" No matter how my day is going, I will always answer with "life is good!" Because that's the truth. I am breathing, have a job, get to see my kids etc. What's more, it positively reinforces my existence here on planet earth. Keeping a positive attitude is monumental in my phycological health. Nobody likes a depressed Nancy, ESPECIALLY me. How am I supposed to love myself when I'm acting in a manner that I view unpleasant when other people act that same way?

My favorite Bible verse helps a lot.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Life should be a constant progression of bettering yourself, don't trip over the stumbling blocks behind you my dear friends.

Authored October 9th 2019