<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Lasko Refuge]]></title><description><![CDATA[Lasko Refuge]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2026 23:59:57 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.laskorefuge.org/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Ready Player One]]></title><description><![CDATA[I have said it eight different ways, I'm not sure how else I can... YOU CAN NOT BE IN A MEANINGFUL, COMMITTED, AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP AND BE ACTIVE IN YOUR ADDICTION. If you are married or are in one of those "we're not married, we've just been living together for nine years and have seven kids together" sort of relationships. And you are an addict who is actively using your substance i.e. booze, drugs, porn, gambling etc. You are basically "pausing the game" as far as intimacy and...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/ready-player-one</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a498497fa58f0a255d2c3f1</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 22:10:58 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Coping with the Holidays]]></title><description><![CDATA[With the holidays coming up, I promised myself I would wait a month to do another one of these... I made it one day, whatever shut up listen.  "Nathan, what's your opinion on having alcohol at gatherings? We're having everyone over for Thanksgiving and my husband's brother is an alcoholic. His parents and my sister all drink wine but don't have a problem. I thought I would get your opinion."  WHAT AN EXCELLENT QUESTION!!! ...this may hurt a smidge.  Let's say your husband's boss was coming...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/coping-with-the-holidays</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a498411f7b480551f10921a</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 22:08:43 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Jesusy Jesus juice.]]></title><description><![CDATA[I came across this article this morning about Anthony Hopkins having some sort of divine intervention that "cured" his alcoholism and it's gotten me a little fired up. It's Sunday after Thanksgiving, it's morning, I'm still in bed so it's an awful time to hit this topic. But whatever shut up listen.  I should preface this with the fact I AM a born again Christian. Many people on my facebook friends list who have seen me active in my addiction probably just spit their coffee out all over their...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/jesusy-jesus-juice</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a49838c0e6d465694993a09</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 22:06:36 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Dealing With Guilt and Shame as an Addict.]]></title><description><![CDATA[Being a professional alcoholic, I can tell you that one of the door prizes for the affliction is years of guilt and shame.  Oftentimes one must deal with uncomfortable feelings that manifest from an embarrassing memory. Unfortunately for an addict/alcoholic, this is a daily occurrence. On good days, when we escape our own minds persecution, the blissful ignorance is cut short by someone ELSE picking up where our memories and imagination left off. It is a daily struggle to remain positive and...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/dealing-with-guilt-and-shame-as-an-addict</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a4983010e6d4656949938e9</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 22:02:48 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Normies Setting Boundaries]]></title><description><![CDATA[I honestly really enjoy the response I get from these posts. You're all so magnificent!!!❤️ after my last, I got a plethora of heartbreaking news from addicts and normies alike...  A man losing his family over lying about gambling/money. A woman who works in a field that can have absolutely 0 narcotics around, but her long time love relapsed and is using meth. Several men addicted to porn. Several woman fed up with their husbands addicted to porn! In fact... Lots of fed up spouses just in...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/normies-setting-boundaries</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a4982830e6d4656949937e6</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 22:01:50 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Something unspoken, proclaimed.]]></title><description><![CDATA[Since I went "Facebook public" with being a professional alcoholic, and as I continue to share my experiences of a lifelong struggle with it, I keep hearing these questions "aren't you afraid of being labeled?///People will look down at you for being an addict.///You're destroying your credibility with people in real life." My answer to these questions will always be the same. My reputation is completely worth just one person deciding to get real about their situation with drugs or alcohol....]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/something-unspoken-proclaimed</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a4981eefa58f0a255d2bec5</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:59:54 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Friendship Test]]></title><description><![CDATA["Nate... How many friends did you lose when you got sober?" Zero, homie! I would like to offer my friends in recovery a very easy formula for your friendships now that you're sober! If 90% of your time was spent partying with (friend) getting wasted, or preping to get wasted, or recovering from being wasted. Expect to hang out with (friend) around 90% less now that you have taken control of your life (mathematics! Hooray!) If all you did with your "friend" is party, guess what, you now have...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/the-friendship-test</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a49819ef7b480551f108d34</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:56:47 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Road to Rectitude]]></title><description><![CDATA[I’ve never been much of a reader. The only book I have read intently AND finished was Daniel Defoe’s 1719 hit Robinson Crusoe back in fifth grade. And I only did it because I had just learned how and felt I needed to exercise my new skill. I know talking with me you would have never guessed I don’t do any of that book learnin,  My mind works fast, I am constantly in my head, and if something isn’t firing off more than one or two senses my brain gets bored and I start to ponder what life...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/the-road-to-rectitude</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a498151fa58f0a255d2bda8</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:55:46 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Table for one.]]></title><description><![CDATA[A recurring theme I experience helping people in recovery is the ever-present snare of reservations. Here is a good example... "Nathan, my life is a mess, I know I have a problem and that its ruining my life. I can't afford rent this month, my girlfriend just left me, and I'm depressed all the time. I'll dO aNytHinG tO gEt sOber!" I will then say "your best bet is to go to inpatient treatment. You will get reestablished and centered. And they will teach you how to prevent this from happening...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/table-for-one</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a4981190e6d4656949934f7</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:54:47 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Filling the void]]></title><description><![CDATA[Slipknot has a song on their 5th studio album titled XIX. It's a very creepy and deep song with a passionate demeanor (I love it). In the beginning of the song, one of the band members is heard saying  "this song is not for the living, this song is for the dead."  When people hear this, they are probably thinking "Wow that's deathly and cryptic." But, what he's saying isn't that the song is for zombies or the physically dead, but for those of us who feel like we're dead INSIDE, its symbolism....]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/filling-the-void</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a4980b80e6d46569499342d</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:53:12 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Snares and hooks]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the most common causes of relapse is something known as "getting a case of the fuck-its." The "fuck-its" are when someone in recovery starts having a difficult life circumstance and instead of coping with it in a healthy way, they say "fuck it!" And go for what they know will give them instant relief, their DOC (drug of choice). This comes from an addicts self-taught behaviors of seeking instant gratification and acting out of impulse instead of reason. These subcontious queues can...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/snares-and-hooks</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a498063f7b480551f108ad4</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:52:00 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fatal codependency]]></title><description><![CDATA[A very dear friend of mine had a nephew dealing with a relapse a few months back. My friend asked me to contact him (his name is Michael) to see if we could get him in for some help or at least give him some encouragement over the phone. I called him and was met with a very uncomfortable familiarity.    Michael had relapsed (in-part) because his wife had met someone and was in the process of leaving him.  "I just don't know what to do! I'll do anything to get her back" "I miss her so much, I...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/fatal-codependency</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a498017fa58f0a255d2bb47</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:50:27 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[More on normies and boundaries.]]></title><description><![CDATA[When working with addicts and their families there is one constant that I see more often than anything else. And that is misconceptions of what boundaries actually are. People are mixing up boundaries with expectations, threats, and ultimatums. If you're setting a boundary with a loved one you need to understand that the loved one has little to do with the task, if anything at all. The work, sacrifice, and follow through are all jobs you're assigning to yourself. You're basically saying to...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/more-on-normies-and-boundaries</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a497fa10e6d465694993228</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 21:48:55 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Rock Bottom ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Have you really hit "rock bottom"? This term has been thrown around by addicts and their loved ones for decades and is, in my opinion, a bad portrayal of an addicts circumstances.  . The definition of rock bottom is "at the lowest possible level" which for us addicts, that level is fleeting and completely ambiguous. I can tell you that if I'm still alive, I have not hit "rock bottom".  . A long time ago, I thought my best friend dying from the same drugs I was using was rock bottom, until I...]]></description><link>https://www.laskorefuge.org/post/rock-bottom</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a488067fa58f0a255d06472</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2026 03:40:03 GMT</pubDate><dc:creator>nathan6935</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>